when i was little

My family has financial issues. I would be lying if i said i didn't envy people who have money, not a lot but just enough to live comfortably. Because my family doesn't even really have that. We live one small paycheck to the next, using coupons to buy groceries and sometimes going without power for a whole afternoon. Yes i wish things were different because i don't ever remember my family having any money really. When i was little my parents used to buy lottery tickets all the time. I used to sit in the back of the car after we got it from the store praying to God we would win and have a big house, pay off ours and our whole families bills, and help others. But every time we didn't win so i got upset i had so much faith then. Now that i'm older i see all the wrong in the world, the unfairness, and sometimes i ask God why. It's a sin to do that i know i feel so guilty that i hate how my family life is, when others around the world are praying for at least one meal to eat out of that whole week or to just make it out alive. To many i am living comfortably. I have this one friend though (not using names, let's just call him bob). So Bob has a nice life, he lives in a two story house in a nice neighborhood with friends to hang out with in said neighborhood. Has a nice family car, gets things he wants. But he calls himself poor his house sucky and his family the worst on the earth. Me on the other hand, i live in a trailer, our family car is from the year 1998, we scrimp to buy groceries let alone simple luxuries like expensive dinners out to eat and trips to go places. My grandma recently passed away but we couldn't attend her  funeral due to the lack of money to get there. So in these moments i have nothing but why God pop into my brain i think why are they so special to get a normal life with no worries like being 14 a knowing all these money troubles. I know it's for a reason God always does something for a reason. I just wish i knew the reason. I would be so thankful to live in a house without lines on the walls, dents in the floors, cracked open windows, and paper thin walls. To live in a neighborhood without drug users, parties, alcohol, thugs, and perverts. To feel safe at night when i go to sleep and hear a noise. I would never ask for anything more than this and i know i would ask for things like food clothes or hanging out with friends. But only those normal little things. I wouldn't do anything bad or horrible if i had this dream come true. i would dedicate myself to becoming a surgeon to save lives for God. But i can't make this all happen i can't make my family wealthy. and it's a sin to be jealous and angry and hate your life. then i sin on the daily. i hate that other people have things i can't mainly nice houses and cars and clothes and good looks and boyfriends. most of all not having to worry about money all the time at the age of 14 i just wish and pray and dream.  I need to reconnect with God before i can even ask for things like this if i don't deserve his forgiveness then i definitely don't deserve his never ending abundance yet.